January 2012
2 posts
Listen
Listen
December 2009
137 posts
Because I love my best friend
Okay so, she’s having some stalker issues, so she has to change her Tumblr, and in order to help out so that said stalker cannot find her through MY Tumblr, I’m changing mine as well. For the dozen or so of you that actually follow me and find me or my musings…amusing o.-, then re-blog this and I’ll follow you on my new one so you know what it is. I don’t expect a lot...
I like the people I follow on Tumblr. Do you like...
izzy1203:
Long story short: there’s this girl I used to be friends with who is now - I suspect - cyber stalking me. On multiple occasions something has happened that she should not know, and would only know because she read it off my Twitter or Tumblr page. I’ve protected my tweets once more and blocked a bunch of people who were following me that I didn’t know. She’s been blocked on everything...
I lied. Beach Games is now my new favorite episode...
I love that Dwight named his Beach Day team...
I think if I ever met Kelly from The Office, I'd...
Yay for really terrible sleeping patterns during...
(via malfoyy)
A-friggin-men
“They are nifty. They’re nifty gifties.”
– MICHAEL SCOTT
this made me laugh way harder than it should have XD
Hey Douchebags I'm supposed to call my family?
All of you suck. No, I haven’t moved ALL DAY because I have no friends left here and all of you left me alone without giving half a shit. Yes, I’ve been on the internet all day because the only other thing to DO in this house is watch TV, and since I spent three years coming home from school to an empty house to do nothing BUT watch TV, it got a little old. Yes, I watched a Harry...
Your Grammar.
dealbreaker:
they’re / their / there
your / you’re
its / it’s
for example:
You’re not getting a BJ. It’s over. There is the door.
I will never date anyone to uses chatspeak, and cannot differentiate between those three rules.
I’m sorry, it’s not working out. Your stuff is at your mom’s house. I called a taxi to take you there.
Now GTFO.
Oh and thank you Darrrby for introducing me to the...
You're an Idiot.
dealbreaker:
Wow, you’re beautiful. I could look at you all day, just please stop talking. Everything you say is a tiny dagger into the heart of my attraction for you. Don’t ask me what state New York City is in unless you’re kidding. Don’t tell the lady at the Burrito stand that you don’t speak “Mexican,” it’s innaccurate AND racist. Don’t walk out of Borat because the mean man was being rude...
GUESTBREAKER: Your Exclamation Point Abuse.
dealbreaker:
We had a good first date; you seemed cute, you picked the bar to meet for the drink, you were on time, you had the right amount of stubble… all the things that get me going. But it was the next day when the emails and the texts started. “How are you? I’m great! Let’s hang out again soon! ” and “So nice to you see you!!!”. Really, dude? Nice to meet you, but you’re this excited...
You're a Doormat.
dealbreaker:
Oh, so you’re cool with anything? You literally have no opinion about where we should go to dinner? How about in a trash can? You want to eat garbage? Really? Of course, why would you care? Okay, well that’s what we’ll do. We will eat garbage out of a trash can. Do you want to catch a movie after dinner? Right, “whatever.” How about a snuff film? We can watch someone get murdered...
GUESTBREAKER: You're REALLY Close With Your Dog.
dealbreaker:
Your dog is on the bed. Your dog is on the bed and we are making out. Your dog is licking my boob. Can you please get your dog off the bed? I get that you love your dog like a child and that you’re really close with your mom. It was charming a minute ago. But right now you need to be a little more forceful with your shoo-ing. Okay, now you’re just petting it. Both of you, stop...
You're a Flake
dealbreaker:
“Baaaaaaabe i’m so sorry i missed dinner! i totally spaced! I was LITERALLY out the door, but then my roommate came home and she was freaking out because this guy, Chris, the one she likes from her job, he shows up to her art opening with a DATE! What a dick, riiiiiight? So, she and I cracked some wine and just had a freaking GABFEST and then I went into this total Pino coma until...
I think Take Your Daughter to Work Day is my new...
Well done, Dwight.
Michael: What's the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman?
Dwight: A saleswoman has a vagina.
rBkH <3
Fucking love this show.
Pam: Come on Angela, don't you have a game?
Angela: I have one, yes.
Pam: Well let's play, what is it?
Angela: I call it Pam Pong. I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk and goes to reception to talk to you.
Pam: We're friends.
Angela: Apparently.
“Toby is in Human Resources, which technically means he works for Corporate, so...”
– Michael Scott
“I mean, who’s gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin Donuts?”
– Michael Scott
4 tags
“The Purse Girl hits everything on my checklist. Creamy skin, straight teeth,...”
– Dwight Schrute
a ribbon on my wrist says: "DO NOT OPEN BEFORE...
fuckyeahfoblyrics:
(via innamon)
auto-reblog
... pretty sure kevin jonas doesn't miss his...
darrrby:
smoothlikebutters:
darrrby:
just sayin.
Kevin Jonas lost his virginity?
To who?
he got married this weekend.
Woah, he did?
I’m not surprised I don’t know, I could care less about the Jonas Brothers XD
... pretty sure kevin jonas doesn't miss his...
darrrby:
just sayin.
Kevin Jonas lost his virginity?
To who?
*pokes @izzy_1203* o.-
See, this is why my parents think I'm a bad kid.
So my family eats lunch at Applebee’s every Sunday after church. My dad was messing with his wedding ring and I noticed that whenever he moved it away from its normal spot there was this big indent around his finger where his wedding ring sits. I point at it and laugh at him and he goes “Yeah, I’ve been married too long.”
So I look at my left ring finger, where the purity...